The Pranking
by dark-night-sky
Summary: Slash SBRL. Sirius decides to play a harmless and incredibally ambarrassing prank on his friend. Said friend plays one back. Oneshot.


SiriusRemus

The Pranking

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

--

There were glares. Oh, there were many, _many _glares. And there was a consistent annoying _giggling _from every corner of the room. There was a sniggering from where Remus knew the Slytherin's were, and the glares from what only could be his current least-favourite-person's fans, the giggles coming from only what could be girls, and slowly a few too many boys from every table joined the sniggering.

And then there was his glare, directed straight at the person who was causing his utmost discomfort: Sirius Black.

"I hate you so much right now," the werewolf spat, receiving a smirk in return.

"That hurts right here, Moony," the dog replied, a hand on his heart. "So much so."

Peter was staring aimlessly at Remus's forehead, mouth hanging open and breakfast forgotten. James blinked rapidly to make sure that he wasn't seeing things before he burst out into fits of laughter, patting Sirius on the back, said male who was still looking smug.

"I never…I never thought," James started, trying to compose himself. "That you'd _actually _follow through with it," he said to his best friend.

"Of course I would! I'm not a coward you know!" the Black exclaimed.

Lily shot Remus a strange look as she walked up to him, and he had the decency to sink his head to his empty plate.

"I was starting to wonder why you were late for breakfast…though now I know. What does it say, really?" she asked.

Remus refused to look up. "I'm sorry; I tried everything to get it to come off…but…"

"Look at me, I'll try," she said, covering her mouth and suppressing any sign of amusement as her fellow prefect looked up.

"Go on, laugh. Everyone else is," the boy mumbled. Lily bit her lip and shook her head, pointing her wand at Remus's head and muttering a spell. There was a small fading in the letters, but they came back twice as dark.

"I've tried it, again and again. I should've left it though, everything I did just made it thicker or darker…"

James cleared his throat and put on a serious face. "The ink does not lie!"

Sirus burst out into laughter next, causing James's seriousness to be replaced with a broad grin.

"Either that, or it just doesn't come off."

Peter was now chuckling after getting over the initial shock.

Because right there on Remus' forehead, now in large, bold letters was 'Sirius' Bitch'. At first, the Slytherin's sniggered because of the pure look of anger and irritation on one of the mauderers, but as the whispered words of what was written on said mauder's head, the sniggers increased.

Lily turned to Sirius with a furious look. "What possessed you to write such a thing on your best friend's head?!" she asked.

"I don't know," Sirius said. "He just looked _so _delicious while he was sleeping, tossing and turning…ah, maybe it was wishful thinking?"

Remus turned a bright red and tried to keep himself contained. What the hell was Sirius _thinking_?! People were going to start rumours about…about…_them_! _Being together _or something!

"That's not funny, Sirius," the redhead persisted. "You shouldn't joke about such things!"

"Who said I was joking?"

Remus' eyes looked with Sirius' grey ones and he felt his heart skip a beat. He felt his head throbbing as the boy opposite him looked directly into him.

_Oh crap! What if he can tell?! _

The werewolf reached for a piece of toast, picking it up and starting to butter it as the wheels in his head started to turn.

"Don't worry, Lily," he said coolly, not needing to look up to see the smug look turn nervous. "I'm sure he'll get his punishment…"

--

The rest of that day was uneventful…ish. Everywhere he went there was a giggle, a look of longing at the words, a snide comment, or a snigger. And to make it worse, Sirius was beside him for almost the whole day.

"Moony," Sirius sang. "What lessons do you have next?"

"Transfiguration and then charms," Remus snapped. "Not that it's any of your business."

"Come on, it's only a joke!" the darker haired male said, though the joyful look on his face wasn't helping his sorry tone. "Besides, even if we did go out or something, you would downright be the girl."

Remus' face lit up, the fact his friend had picked out the word while they were passing a group of Ravenclaws he sometimes studied with not helping. "Shut up, Padfoot. That's entirely beside the point."

"No it's not; it does read 'Sirius' _Bitch'_ does it not? Therefore, you would be the girl."

"Just because you've dated almost every girl in our year and the one below, does not mean I would submit to you."

Now _this _was what the taller boy was talking about. "Of course you would! It goes in height order, don't you know?"

"No, it goes in age order, and last time I checked, you were younger than me."

"By a mere _three months,_ that is nothing!" Sirius defended. "I'm more of a man than you will ever be."

The brunette made sure they were passing a group of people before he spoke. "You're the one who spends an hour in front of the mirror every morning."

"I do not!" the other hissed, flustering.

"You do, the only reason that we're ever late to breakfast is because your hair's not finished, or you eyeliner doesn't look right, or something of the sort."

"At least I don't blush like a girl," he replied. "All it takes is a small whisper to make _you _blush like a _girl_," he whispered to make his point.

"Wha-what's that got to-to do with anything?!" Remus snapped before opening the door to a classroom, eyes homing in to his forehead. Sighing with irritation he sucked up what pride he had left and marched into the classroom, about to sit next to Lily before James stole his seat with a sly grin. The girl looked at him apologetically as he sat on the last table. Where there were two chairs spare right in front of the two.

"Can't you sit next to one of your little fan girls or something?" Remus muttered, giving up somewhat.

"No, it's nicer here," Sirius replied. "And why would I want to leave my lovely Moony on his lonesome?"

"I should've taken herbology with Peter…"

Professor Magonogal entered the room, setting her things at the front and looking round as the room full of whispers, turning to the centre of attention and frowning.

"Mr. Lupin…" she started, unsure of what to say. "Why is there…_writing _on your…forehead."

"That's my fault, Minnie," Sirius said with a beaming smile. "I used truth ink and charmed it to not come off."

"You don't even _own _any truth ink, Black!" Remus snapped as the whispers got louder. "Stop making up _lies _like this one!" he jerked his thumb to point at his forehead.

Sirius snaked an arm around his friend's shoulder, receiving a nice shade of pink. "I think _you _are just in denial."

"Denial my ass."

"Mr. Lupin, keep your language to a minim, please. Even if it is Mr. Black who your talking too…"

"Sorry Professor."

She turned to her blackboard, her lips twitching. "I'll let it slid this time…"

Just as the lesson started, Lily leant forward to whisper something to Remus.

"_Make sure you get him back good." _

The boy next to him didn't notice the scheming look that passed his companion's face.

--

"_Remus Lupin!_" a loud voice bawled from the end of the great hall. All head turned to look a very red, very pissed Sirius Black.

Only one head stayed down, calmly eating his food.

Sirius stormed over as he shouted. "_I am not your property!_"

As he marched down to, coincidentally, the end of the table, everyone looked at his back to see a piece of paper, charmed in place.

Remus finally looked up, eye holding no trace of guilt. "I'm not following."

James and Peter were still looking confused while, everyone whispered animatedly about the writing.

"Look at this!" Sirius squeaked, turning round so that his fellow mauderers could see his back. James exploded with laughter, while Peter covered his mouth to try calm himself.

Remus smirked. "Oh, that."

"Don't you 'oh, that' me, Mr. Moony!" Sirius snapped, turning back round. "It's stuck to everyone of my robes! All of them! And they won't come off!"

As Remus glanced to a certain prefect; she gave him the thumbs up.

"I know, they're charmed. You gave me the idea with our little…conversation yesterday," Remus patted the space next to him. "Sit."

Sirius did as he was told. Remus pulled out his wand.

"Don't turn round, this is my favourite part."

He tapped the writing with his wand and it started to change into a different word, causing more laughter. Sirius turned so James could see it.

"Tell me how bad it is, Prongs."

"Well, on the plus side, it doesn't say 'Lupin's Property' anymore," the bespectacled boy said. "It says 'Whipped'."

Sirius immediately stood, slapping his hands on the table.

"I am most definitely _not _whipped!"

Remus took a sip of his pumpkin juice. "Sit, Padfoot."

Once again, the boy sat, causing some laughter around the people who could hear the conversation.

"This is not fun," he stated.

"But _Padfoot_, you didn't say anything against being whipped last night," Remus said, looking thoughtful. Peter started to choke on his drink, while James' head snapped up, waiting for something to happen.

Sirius' face flushed a bright read as Lily roared with laughter. The Black swallowed the lump in his throat and smirked. As he smirked, it was like the entire hall shushed to hear his reply, while Remus gave him a sceptical look.

"How could I say no when you gave me _that look_, Moony darling?" Sirius replied. "But wasn't it you who ended up on the bottom?"

"I thought we had this conversation yesterday, you're the girl."

"No bloody way, you are."

"I wouldn't submit to some egoistic self-centred bastard."

"Want a bet?"

James caught the look that flicked through Sirius' eyes and started to wave his hands furiously. "No, Moony don't-"

"Surprised you asked, seeing as you're going to loose."

The brunet slumped back into his seat with a sigh as Peter covered his eyes. There was a rounded gasp from the people in the hall as Sirius dipped forward, capturing Remus' lips with his own. Remus couldn't even _breath_ he was so…ecstatic?

Leaning back Sirius smirked and went to get his breakfast.

"You…you…" Remus started, face getting redder by the second. Sirius gave him a similar, innocent look that Remus had used earlier.

Then Remus' face got hard and he grabbed the red and gold tie, pulling the black haired boy forward and smacking their lips together again, with more force. Sirius was quicker to recover and attacked with his tongue.

By the time Professor Magonagol reached them to pull them apart and deduct points from them, Remus was straddling Sirius and clutching his shirt and robes tightly, while one of Sirius' hands were behind him, stopping them from falling back, and one round his friend's waist, fingering the hem of his trousers.

"Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin!" she snapped. "Twenty points- from each of you! Now either finish your breakfast or return to your dorm!"

Remus growled, much to everyone's surprise, and dragged Sirius to the door.

"Come on, Padfoot. Let's go somewhere some _Professor _won't interrupt."

"Yes Moony…" Sirius replied, following like a puppy, grinning foolishly.

Everyone stared after them as the paper on the boy's back changed from saying 'Whipped' to 'Lupin's Property', over and over.

--

Kitty: I had to DX my first Harry Potter fic. Not my last, seeing as I've started another XD tell me what you think!!

Ja ne

Kitty


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